In a world full of negativity, it is important that we talk a little less about the psychological disorders that we are vulnerable to and shed more light on the innate psychological accessories that we are yet to explore. The modern man fails to keep pace with the demands of work, academic duties and social life for a number of reasons. Among them, the lack of self esteem is the one that really hurts people in the long run. Indeed, self esteem is a cherished and elusive psychological accessory that has been used to create a billion dollar industry in the United States alone. How so? Look around you, and you will be sure to find numerous books, programs, articles, blogs and other educational resources that promise to augment your self esteem and give you the confidence that you need to overcome the most difficult challenges in your life.
It is one thing to have access to these resources, and it is something entirely different to benefit from them. If only people were making the best use of these resources, then we would not have an ocean full of dejected and crestfallen human beings who have little to no faith in their own abilities.
Why do people find it so difficult to grow and nurture self esteem? Perhaps, people do not fully understand the concept of having self esteem. You cannot blame them for that. After decades of research and debates, psychologists are still arguing about what self esteem actually is. If the experts can’t seem to understand how self esteem affects us, then you can’t expect the average person to do any better. That being said, there are a few things that the psychologists agree upon when it comes to self esteem. Here are five of them:
1) Self Esteem Is of Different Kinds
Self esteem can be categorized into different types. The kind of self esteem that you have may not be the same as your friend does. Scientists have established that feelings of self worth can be of a global nature (this indicates how you perceive yourself in general) and of a specific kind (this indicates how you view yourself in specific roles, areas and domains in your life such as how good of a professional you are at work). The different categories of self esteem do not have equal importance. Self esteem as a professional may be more important to you than self esteem as a partner. That might not be the case for someone who prioritizes relationships above professional obligations. At the end of the day, it all boils down to what matters more to you in life.
2) Self Esteem Is Always Fluctuating
When we observe great self esteem in an individual, we make the assumption that the person is going to be full of confidence and is going to back himself or herself every single day. This is not how self esteem works in real life. It is much more complicated that we would like to admit. You may wake up in the morning feeling great about yourself, but that feeling can easily change once you realize that you have heaps of work that are still left to be completed. Receiving a compliment from someone you are attracted to may boost your self esteem temporarily before it comes crashing down thanks to a harsh comment made by your boss. Self esteem is continuously fluctuating based on the internal feedback we give ourselves and the external feedback we receive from the world outside.
3) Low Self Esteem Makes You Resistant to Positive Feedback
Some people have really low self esteem. This can be very dangerous for an individual’s mental health. A few people like to interpret low self esteem as a strong sense of humility, but that is definitely not the right way to go about it. Positive feedback, which is essential to planting the seeds of motivation and determination in our minds, can be rendered ineffective in the presence of low self esteem. When you are suffering from a lack of self esteem you feel as though you are undeserving of praise, recognition and applause. In that situation, the positive feedback does nothing to uplift your spirit and only fuels your feelings of dejection.
4) Most Self Esteem Programs Do Not Work
The self esteem generating industry is pretty similar to the hair loss product industry. Both the industries churn out a ridiculous amount of money, but majority of the products and programs that form the industry fail to work on the consumers. According to studies, most people’s self esteem does not change after completing programs and workshops that are designed to regenerate self esteem.
5) Self Esteem Works Like an Emotional Immune System
Having high self esteem is comparable to having a strong immunity. This emotional immune system reduces our chances of being affected by stress, anxiety and other psychological problems. When your self esteem levels are sky high, you are less likely to be hurt by rejection, failure and defeat. You will also find it easier to mentally recuperate and rebuild yourself for the challenges ahead.