It is easy to get that old feeling when you see an ex where you wonder if he or she was the one and you blew it. Too often we let inconsequential things get in the way of a good relationship. Often we enter into new relationships carrying a lot of old baggage. If you do this, it could mean that you really want to figure out how get your ex back. This article was written from a women’s perspective, but can easily be switched around to get a girl back.
It is important though to review why you broke you with your ex in the first place, or why he or she broke up with you, before you try to figure out how to get your ex back. For example, if you have common friends, you may be able to get some clues from them why you are no longer with your ex. You can also think back on arguments that you had and ask yourself honestly what caused them and whether these same issues likely still exist today if you got back together.
Keep in mind that it is not unheard of for one partner to start an argument for ulterior motives that have absolutely nothing to do with their real agenda. For instance, he may have met someone else or he may have felt that things were moving too fast in your relationship, at least for his comfort level.
It is also important to remember that while your ex may look good to you when run into him or her at an office water cooler or dinner party, you should be sure that your motivations for wanting to get back together are valid. We’ve all seen romantic movies and plays that ended with the two lovers flying back into each others arms after realizing how foolish they were to have ever broken up. However, that is the movies, and this is your life. You may find that soon after the curtain goes down you once again start rethinking your decision when reality begins to intrude on your plan for how to get your ex back.
If you decide that your reasons for wanting to give your relationship with your ex are legitimate, then there are several do’s and don’t that you should carefully observe in order to have a chance of finding your way back in to his or her heart.
One of the most important “don’ts” on your list should be to never seem desperate. Usually, people like attention, like a dozen roses or a kind gesture, but calling every hour on the hour is not how to get your ex back. If you are a woman trying to get a man back, one way to catch his attention is by presenting yourself as a self-assured woman with a full and happy life. If the man you want to get back would prefer you to be at his beckon call or expect you to do things “his way” all the time, you should run probably forget the whole thing anyway.
Decent guys like women who have it together and are their own person. These are women that don’t spend all their time waiting by the phone for a man to call or spend their break time texting to him about how wonderful he is. Sure, a romantic message once in a while is fine, but it is important to avoid crossing the line from romantic to stalker.
While catching the eye of your ex might mean making some changes to your appearance, from a new hairstyle to a slightly more provocative wardrobe, when it comes to getting your ex back, external changes can only get you so far. You may be surprised to learn that your ex broke up with you because of something about who you are, not what you look like.
Men like to chase a women and, when it comes to keeping him interested, your goal should be to always present yourself as a woman who is always a bit unobtainable, even when you are in a relationship. If someone thinks they are the center of your universe, it can cause that person to start under-appreciating you and start taking you for granted. There are a number of books that specifically talk about the idea that men like strong women that have a successful career, good friends and a healthy view of themselves. This kind of woman would never appear desperate or let anyone walk all over her.
It is also a fundamental truth about human nature that we often want what someone else has. So when you are thinking of ways on how to get your ex back, consider the tried but true jealousy approach. Letting it be known that you are dating other men may cause your ex, if he still has feelings for you, to start remembering the good times and thinking about what he is missing.
Through you don’t want to give the impression that you are completely unobtainable, demonstrating that you can have a good time with another guy can remind your ex of the feelings he had for you and even rekindle those feeling stronger than ever. Another key component to getting your ex back is to show them something new. You want to present an air of mystery, something that makes it clear that they do quite have you figured out like they though they did.
You can also try to get your ex back by becoming his “friend.” This may be difficult, since he may be dating other people, but as you spend time with one other as friends, an opportunity may present itself to enter into a more romantic relationship. Developing a friendship with your ex may also give you new insights into your ex that might give any potential future romantic relationship a better chance of going the distance the next time around.
Even if you do not figure out how to get your ex back, it may be worth it to keep this person in your life, as true friendships often have a staying power that can last longer than romantic relationships. Time changes many things, and as unlikely as it might seem now, one day you may find your ex being the person you confide in about your new relationships, offering advice and even a shoulder to lean on.
It is important to remember that the old axiom that “nice guys finish last” can apply to women too. While, of course, we all want our partner to be a nice person, we do not want them to be a doormat. We also do not want them to need us to the point that we have to take out a restraining order to have a moment’s peace. Most of us want an equal partner who has their own life, dreams and aspirations that are separate from their relationship with us and which fulfills them both professionally and personally.