Most of us can handle criticism. When we become adults we begin to expect that not all people will be happy with what we do or say. This is OK but there are times when what people say about us leaves a lasting impact on our mood or even our self esteem. It is important to consider what others say about us, because in some instances, these things could be useful for self-improvement, especially when they are related to school, work and personal relationships. However, there are times when it is just better to ignore and rely on our better judgement. Here are a few pointers on how to not let things people say bother you.
Develop a strong self esteem.
A strong self esteem is one of your best defenses if you want to avoid the negative effects of what people around you are saying about you, your actions, or things you said. In fact, if you have a strong self esteem, you are pretty much confident that despite the things people say, you will be able to accomplish anything you want to, or become anyone you want to be. A strong self esteem is not created overnight. Your parents have an important part to play in forming your self esteem, but even if you were not fortunate to have this, you can still develop a strong identity for yourself. Start by identifying your talents, your strengths and the things you can offer the world. Forge relationships with people who emit positive energy and encourage you to do your best in the things that you do. Also forge deep, meaningful friendships. Many studies have shown that real friendships are useful in the development of a person’s self-esteem and sense of self. Friends are also there to give you constructive, genuine feedback. In short, your friends are the people whose words you should consider from time to time.
Rely on your own instincts.
Your instincts are important because they can help you determine what’s the better choice between two similar or different choices. Instincts tell you that you are better off doing something that makes you happy, than doing something that makes others happy but makes you miserable. Instinct is also often the one thing that tells you to do something even if another option may look better at the moment. And more often than not, your instinct will tell you that although it is so much better to dwell on every negative comment thrown your way, you are better off thinking about more positive things, because you just might end up regretting all the hours you wasted on other people’s comments about you.
Know that others are not always right.
This is a very important point to remember. Not every negative comment thrown at you is true. In fact, most of these comments are based on false assumptions. If you know that a particular comment is wrong or false, or the result of a misconception, then do not dwell on it. You can approach the person and set him or her straight, or you can walk away. People will always have their opinions, but not all of them are true.
Learn how to choose your own path.
If you are comfortable with what you are doing and you know your direction in life, nothing that anyone can say will be able to distract you from it. A lot of people often say things that may distract or discourage you, but most of them do this because they are scared to follow their own dreams and want to project that fear to others as well.
Listen to the people who matter.
As you grow older you will learn to discern the people who matter most, and the people who should not matter at all. Your family, friends, and people who you look up to are often the people who should matter. The people who show you love, confidence, and trust deserve to be the people whose opinion you value. All others are just mere acquaintances and although the things they say may be helpful to you, you should not rely on everything that comes from them when it comes to valuing your self, your talents, and your worth. Only the people who are closets to you know your true value.
Eliminate negative energies from your life.
If you have friends or co-workers and even family members who regularly put you down or talk you out of following your dreams and desires, it may be best to limit your interaction with them. A person who brings negative and toxic energy to your life is not worth keeping. Surround yourself with people whose words and actions lift you up. This way, you become more like them. Not only do you get a regular dose of optimism and encouragement, you start developing these traits in yourself as well, allowing you to become a bringer of positive energy to the people around you.
Learn the art of speaking up.
If you have long been suffering from the comments of someone who keeps shooting you or your ideas down, it may be a good idea to stand your ground and speak up. Some people are encouraged to bully others when they see that there’s no resistance. Although this does not mean that you should be on the offensive mode all the time, it is best to set a person straight when you feel that he or she may going too far. You never know, this could be the only thing that you need to do in order to stop the negative or hurtful comments from being said ever again.
A lot of people will say things you will not like. These things may be hurtful, discouraging, and can even affect your
self-esteem. As long as you know who you are and you know where you are headed, none of these things should matter to you. Do not let the careless words of others dictate how you feel or how you live your life.