Having an argument usually leads to violent behavior and utterance of hurtful words that can definitely ruin the room and the relationship. Emotion is such a dangerous thing to toy with, and if neither party is calm, then unforeseen devastation will surely follow. How to stop an argument without ruining anything along the way might be harder than you think, but it doesn’t mean it is not possible.
You know your self better than the one you have an argument with (except if she is your mother), and you know how to pacify yourself. Try, as much as possible, to filter the hurtful things that you hear from the other party and the things that you might say just to prevent igniting the fire.
The argument usually stops when the other party remains calm, but not to the point where that other party is ignoring the other one. Sometimes ignoring the other one might do the trick, but sometimes it can trigger the flame to grow bigger.
Things that you can Try to Stop an Argument
In any argument, there is always someone who can understand better, and you can always assume the role of that someone who understands better. That way, the fire that is already burning can be prevented to spread all over the room. Stop the argument before it can get worse.
Speak in a calm and gentle manner. It is hard to do, but you need to do it because you are the party that understands better. It wouldn’t hurt to try instead of going through some rough times after the argument, which will surely happen if you won’t act quickly.
Make the other party understand that you grasp what he or she is saying and agree on certain things instead of opposing the things that the other party is saying.
As much as possible, avoid saying insulting words even if the other party is saying them. Keep in mind that “truth hurts”, and if you are hurt by the insulting words, then it must be true. To prove that it is not true, then don’t let yourself get affected by such words.
The past has its reason for being a past – it doesn’t belong in the present. Let the past stay in the past and avoid bringing it up each time there is an argument. When something was settled in the past, then it is already solved. Bringing it in the argument will only re-open the wound that has been closed.
It has been said, “if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all,” this statement is very true. Saying hurtful words can only worsen the situation and you are trying to put out the flame.
Try to separate for 30 minutes to calm yourselves, but don’t leave without resolving anything because most end up not meeting again. Don’t do drastic moves that you will surely regret in the end.
Solve the problems first between the two of you and never invite family members of either side to avoid taking sides. Sometimes it is inevitable to take the side of the one that share the same blood as you or take the side of the one that is being favored.
Sometimes all it takes is a sincere apology, and it doesn’t matter who started the argument and the one who apologized first does not really mean he or she is the one at fault.
Patching Things Up
If you have successfully stopped an argument, then try to bring things to the way they were although it might take some time and don’t expect it to be immediate.
If the other party is not yet willing to talk things out, then don’t force it. Forcing it might actually start another fire.
An invitation for a cup of coffee or afternoon tea can pave a way to start a light conversation that will not touch the recent cause of argument.
Make a fresh start and avoid digging the bones of the past. Sharing a dose of laughter can help a lot in bringing the relationship to a renewed state where heartaches are nowhere to be felt.
Schedule to do an activity that you both enjoy doing like hiking, fishing, shopping, or gardening. You can let other family members and friends join you to double the fun and strengthen your bond.
Take a vacation to somewhere you can both enjoy the scenery, food, activities, and fun things that the place can offer. A vacation need not be expensive, but it should be a place that you both wanted to go.
How Not to Start an Argument
If in any illness prevention is better than cure, then not starting an argument is better than stopping it from getting worse. It is difficult to always have a harmonious relationship with the ones you love, but it is still possible. Know the things that can make you easily irritated and do something before an argument erupt.
Stress is the usual cause of igniting a word fight, and if you are someone who quickly gets affected or ticked off by harsh words then it is wise to relax first and meditate before facing someone. Listening to classical music like Air on G-string can help relax the body and mind. Try to listen to some classical music before facing someone when you are already tired.
A hot meal can also help calm the body and mind. A hungry stomach can affect how the mind must process everything. Some uttered words can have a different meaning that will surely lit the fire for an argument to take place.
If there are issues that needed to be settled, don’t discuss it when either party is not in a good mood. An argument will surely take place when someone said something that the other one will not like. There are other days to discuss things, so keep it until then.
If decision-making must be made by both people, then respect the agreed set up and don’t make haste in deciding on things. A wrong decision that should have been made by both of you will be brought up one way or another that will start an argument. Respect is something that must be given to each other in order to live harmoniously.