Sometimes winning an argument isn’t the best resolve to end it. So many times in my life have I fought and won, only to feel worse later or come out far behind what I would have if I had just lost. That is because of all the effort I had to put in and all the destruction caused by the fight. The little reward I got wasn’t worth it in many cases.
Lets take a minute to stop and think about this, leave your ego aside. If your gain from an argument was lets say the right for a certain parking spot, that’s 5 spaces closer to the door, then winning that argument might save you 1 minute of time each day. So for a whole month the time saved would be about 30 minutes.
Now lets say you are fairly entitled to that spot and someone else keeps parking there. In order for you to make the change needed you have to argue with them. This could take 10-15 minutes out of your day for a week. You could end up having to report them to a supervisor if at work or someone to make the change happen. This could damage your friendship or a friendship with someone else that know that person.
If you calculate all of this up you come up with at least twice the time saved spent arguing plus the chance at damaging relationships with others.
In the above example it wasn’t worth it to make the call to argue. You would more than likely have benefited more from just walking away or losing the argument.
How Can I Love More Arguments & Still Win?
In your mind you have to take the time to analyze the situation all the way through and weigh in the benefits of just losing, before it ever begins. If you take 5 minutes to sit down and make out a two column list, you will find out real quick which one has the better outcome for you. The list should have two headings, one that says benefits and one that says disadvantages. You should write everything down under one of these headings. No detail, is to small or insignificant to put on your list, or you wouldn’t have thought about it. If you don’t’ like the list idea you can always go over the same information in your head.
Once you figure out your course of action then all you do is act accordingly. If you chose to continue the argument at least try to do it in a non destructive way.
Once you decide to end the argument follow these pointers to ensure you come out where you need to be.
- If you haven’t already engaged in the argument then say nothing at all.
- Make a decision and stick with it. Don’t second guess yourself.
- Remember why it is you chose you decision and keep that information handy for referring to later if you start to stray away from your choice.
I hope this advice helps you out some and maybe even avoid an argument. Good Luck!