How You Can Avoid Be Judgmental
We are all judgmental at times. We can’t help the fact that it’s human nature. It’s not the most useful skill and can be a destructive habit. We put a label on and compare people we run across in our lives whether we know them or not. We compare them to ourselves to prove that we are better and superior to them and mark them with our own divisions. This kind of selfish behavior leads us to a life of lies and deceptions about others including friends and family.
Even though this sounds like something horrible, we all do it everyday to some extent. It has become a way of life. Some people are worse than others and some bluntly put their opinions out for the whole world to see. I want you to stray away from this behavior and form a new and improved habit.
I’m going to call this new habit the connections habit. It involves a process of stopping yourself before you judge or make a judgment. The whole process from start to finish is quite a chore and involves a lot of self control and discipline. Once mastered your eyes will open up to a whole new world of love, understanding, and compassion.
The Connections Habit
The first thing you need to do before starting out on my 3 step process is to understand what you are doing and be able to catch yourself making a judgment about someone. As soon as you can identify your judgmental thoughts from an observation perspective, then it’s time to really change them. If you can’t readily do this then take a few days to monitor your thoughts while you go about your life. Wear a rubber band around your wrist to remind you to be constantly monitoring everything that goes in and out of your mind. Start paying close attention to your inner opinions and thoughts about other people. Once you are able to pinpoint a judgmental thought then move on to the first step. Do these steps right at the moment your thought is occurring.
Step 1: Put Yourself In Their Shoes
Do the best you can to recreate the scenario they are in for yourself. Put yourself in their shoes and think of how things are for them right at that moment. Really consider every point of their life and everything that could possibly be on their mind. Consider their financial situations, home life, friends, education, age, health, and any other factor you can recreate for yourself. Try to feel like they would or how you think they feel.
Step 2: Accept Them
Once you get to the point where you sort of understand the other person, accept them for who they are. Accept them exactly the way you see them without wanting to change a single thing. If you don’t get past this step then you will be constantly frustrating yourself.
Step 3: Love Them
The last step is the most important one. Once you get to this point you have to love them exactly the way they are. Love them as another being. Feel the connection and things you guys share. Love their personality and characteristics. Love everything that makes them unique.
Once you get to the love step and complete it the judgmental phase will pass. It will be switched off and a new loving and connecting phase will be in your mind. With this new found compassion you will be able to achieve closeness with even a complete stranger. You will feel as though they are close to your hear even when then are constantly doing things that make you upset. When you master this new skill set you will have become one step closer to obtaining happy healthy relationships with everyone. Good Luck!